on days like this, where the sun shines not on me, I wonder and ponder questions far to complex for someone simple as I to answer. i confess, only to God, what goes through my mind. in my prayers I ask for enlightenment. I often pray for a way out of loneliness but, no matter how hard I try, I can not seem to find a way out. tonight i dreamt of you. you whose name resembles everything. 

you are not life itself. you are what keeps live going. on the surface, of the vast ocean, that are my thoughts, i can find you, swimming. 

i often feel the presence of the divine in my dreams. as if told a riddle or shown a mystery, i am left to find the meaning behind this guidance. if you are not meant for me, why do you insist in travelling a continent to visit me while i sleep. if dreams are the only place where i can be with you then i don't ever want to wake up again.

there are times where i feel not like a person. there are even times where i don't even feel anything at all. in the moments where i question. whenever i have doubts. God shows me you. 

i understand not the work of God. i dare not to question the reasons or motives behind what i see. i believe. i feel. and, even when I am not next to you or the light, i feel your warmth touching my skin.

maybe one day... maybe one day you shall see what i see and feel what i feel. one day, you will find love. whenever you find it, I'll be there, waiting with open arms.

i love you.