my mind is a crowded house,

home to many voices.

faceless voices,

bound to no name in particular.

sometimes believing does not matter,

for the senses are deceiftul.

it matters not racionality,

my perception is flawded.

even before I try,

I'm already destined to fail.

I get up only to fall again,

this time to nobody's arms.

feeling sad has become vulgar,

as ordinary as the air we breathe,

without even realizing.

the answers shall come,

maybe after my eyes close forever,

my course is already set in motion.

my poems are meaningless,

my words, feelings,

they're of no value.

if a broken toy could be restored,

it would only mean it was never broken,

for as much as you glue the pieces of a broken vase,

no matter how much you fill a hole on a beach,

what once was can never be.

I eager the silence,

I yearn the cold,

and my oblivion.

    To be changed this much... I wonder what god has planned out for me. I know it is not my place to wonder and that I should just trust in the path. Yet, my rebelious nature tells me there is more than what meets the eye. At first i tought you led me to him. I saw only what I could see. The one who led me to you was God.

    

    God makes no mistakes. God is absolute. If me meeting you was meant to be, I know God really loves me. For someone so vulgar like myself to meet a princess and get to talk to her. I know I am lucky. Ever since I first heard your voice, I felt a calling. When I go sleep, at night, I think about two things. God and you.

    Ever since I spoke to you, my life has changed. I have changed. To love is to be changed. So, for the first time in my life, I know I love. I know now what it means to feel as vulnerable. Although I should be scared, I am not. Even thou I know your heart resides in another home, I am happy.

    True love waits. And, if anything is meant to happen out of my love and feelings, it will happen eventually. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But, one day, it will happen. I am ready to embrace you, your beliefs and culture.

    There is meaning in us. We share the shame problems. We share the same visions. We are both damaged. I understand you and you understand me. Not once I've felt understood by anyone. We are on the same side of the coin. We live on the same spectrum. If soulmates exist you have to be the one. I know you won't believe me. It is fine. I would not believe me either. 

    At the right time, something will happen and you shall see the truth in my words. Either by his will and grace or my persistence and commitment. You will see it clearly as I do. 

    

Meeting you was a gift from god.

I cannot understand how, 

Why or when i started to believe, 

You gave me what i once lost.

Hope. It is a dangerous thing. 

Trusting and believing you,

Comes naturally. 

You are a kind and warm person. 

I have never seen someone like you. 

Your personality is charming. 

And, even thou your feet stinky, 

The ground turns to gold when you walk over it. 

People like you impact people like me. 

I have nothing to give. 

All I can give is what you have showed me, 

Friendship. Honesty. 

I hope you know you are sane. 

You arent crazy. 

Neither am I. 

You are genuine. Transperant. 

I needed to believe. 

You believe. 

So I trusted you and god. 

I am a believer, 

And by extention, i am loved. 

I am here if you need. 

Talk, laught, cry, 

Anything. 

Take care Shams. 

 i am a vessel,

i am his vessel,

being by visions,

by dreams,

and sometimes both.

the message is clear enough,

even for someone like me to understand,

there is meaning to life,

there is meaning in me.

i shall obey what you say,

i shall believe in what you show.

even if they call me crazy,

a false prophet,

or something else.

i can see,

through your eyes,

i can feel,

through your forgiveness.

i am strong because i am loved,

and by loving i shall change the world.

little by little,

brick by brick,

i shall make the visions real.

reality is but a concept we created,

because we cling too much to what's racional.

maybe there is logic to certain things,

maybe there's no logic to other things.

once again, i hear,

and, once again, i see.

when all hope is lost,

and the ground beneath cracks,

there has always been a hand that reatches,

a body that warms my cold skin.

in times of need,

i am never alone,

and with his guidance,

i shall overcome,

i shall adapt.

maybe it was faith,

maybe it was written on a wall,

i believe me meeting you was destined to be.

for some reason,

i sense no danger,

for some reason,

i believe in what you say.

are you an angel?

if not, how can you fly so high?

how can you read my soul,

by only looking in to my eyes.

your voice is like liquid gold.

i care not about the body,

the touch, or the kiss,

i care about what's underneath the skin,

and what lies deep inside.

if you ever need me,

i am here.

thank you for restoring the faith i once lost,

i am in your debt,

mashallah Shams.

rain streams down my cheeks,

even thou it was only momentaraly,

you were mine,

I was yours,

I'm still yours.

If today was not the same as yesterday,

I would be surprised.

who am I,

who am I to you,

what am I,

what am I to you.

eat seeds for internal growth,

fly low with your wings of steel,

a broken heart and a handful of nothing,

is what I get whenever I fall,

and, oh, how I keep on falling.

today was not the same,

today was not yesterday,

when I woke, I was alone,

you are nowhere to be found,

you don't even vistit me on my dreams.

love is but a curse,

a curse that clings and drains me away...

 the urge to kiss someone is something i've never really experienced up until the first time we looked at each other's souls. i believe there is meaning to almost everything we do. i believe there is meaning in us meeting. there is so much more than what meets the eye.

in you i found the hope i had long gave up on. you gave me reasons to believe. your way of being touched me deeply and just by watching you smile i felt tingles on my belly.

i do understand we all need and should abide some time to find ourselves and learn to be accompanied by our own shadow. a part of me wishes you would settle with me. but the majority of me screams that i should give up on you romantically, give you the time and space you need.

it's like as if you were on a cacoon, developing your wings. i can't and i shall not stop the growth of beauty. so i shall not stop you. 

if you ever do need me, i'll try and be there for you, in dire times or not, as you were there for me on the day i almost fell to insanity.

you already know what i feel for you, so i won't say it. thank you for being who you are and for not judging and accepting me.